There Is No Going Back

The last several months have been nothing short of a roller coaster for me and my family, and honestly I am not sure I have the energy to even lay all of it out here, but during all of this chaos I keep coming back to a poem from Wendell Berry that my dear friend Joe shared with me a little over a year ago. This poem strikes something deep in my interior (soul?) that I have really needed to be in touch with, and I wanted to take the time to share it with each of you.

No, no, there is no going back.

Less and less you are

that possibility you were.

More and more you have become

those lives and deaths

that have belonged to you.

You have become a sort of grave

containing much that was

and is no more in time, beloved

then, now, and always.

And so you have become a sort of tree

standing over a grave.

Now more than ever you can be

generous toward each day

that comes, young, to disappear

forever, and yet remain

unaging in the mind.

Every day you have less reason

not to give yourself away.

– Wendell Berry

If you will, please pray for me and my family. We are in the middle of a lot of uncertainty about jobs, our ministry, and over all how we are going to manage life back on the other side of the country after the heartbreak that comes with leaving friends, family, and so many joys of ministry behind because of no longer being able to continue to work in an incredible toxic environment. It is all so bittersweet, and not what we wanted, but it is the next best move for our family.

Through whom, to whom, and for whom all things exist

-R