You have to leave more than you ever imagined behind

There is a wanting of God so much that you are willing to forsake everything Godly to find him[sic]. Ponder this, the god who is beyond what is godly. Know this, That you have to leave more than you ever imagined behind.

- Meister Eckhart

Thanks to Facebook memories I was reminded of this short quote from the German Mystic Meister Eckhart and I am finding out, with what seems like ever increasing difficulty, that if I were to sum up the entirety of my spiritual/faith journey that it would have to be with that last haunting sentence: “…you have to leave more than you ever imagined behind.”

Looking back over the course of my life I have learned and unlearned more things than I ever thought possible in my short 29 years. With that said, my one constant prayer over the last decade (often punctuated by groans, tears, and curses) has been “lord, Teach me” and I do not think I could have ever truly understood how powerful and challenging the response to that plea would be when my tongue first uttered those words on the floor of a packed out pentecostal house church as a 19 year old kid.

There is this grief that comes with leaving behind anything, whether that be friends, family, jobs, or ideas, but it is a necessary part of the process. They do not call them goring pains for nothing, right? If I am being honest I do not really know the point of this email. I am feeling that grief that I talked about and yet not much has changed in my life recently. Maybe it is for things already long gone or maybe it’s some sort of precursor for things coming. Regardless, I hope that maybe you find some comfort in the words of Meister Eckhart. That somehow they speak a word to your soul that you need to hear. A word about how you are not alone even though the growing hurts. A word about how change may be uncomfortable but there are always better things ahead.

-R

“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

-Saint Augustine